*Except for everything, ever.
Instead of “gorging on calories” this holiday season, The Cut encourages you to “satisfy your sweet tooth in a different, fat-free way,” by purchasing Jane Iredale’s Chocoholicks lip gloss gift set for $44.
I guess that’s a helpful diet strategy if you’re sad and hungry like Kate Moss (the pithy wordsmith/awesome role model behind the bons mots above) or working on Ralph Lauren’s Body By Gumby look. The Cut was also talking about the perils of Collagen Cheesecake last week, so it’s possible they’ve never tasted actual chocolate.
But I’m feeling just exhausted by all these beauty products that smell and look like the sugary goodness that women, of course, aren’t supposed to let ourselves eat. (Jessica Simpson’s Dessert line, I’m looking at you.) I don’t know if beauty marketers have decided that I’m just dumb enough to think that a chocolate-scented body lotion is as tasty as the real thing, or if I’m honestly supposed to hate my body so much that I’ll prolong the diet torture by covering it in glop that smells like everything I don’t let myself have.
Whatever the method behind their madness, color me not interested. My plan is to go ahead and enjoy eating some damn food over the holidays. And most other days.
Dear readers, do join me.