Y’all. So excited to have this post here on Beauty Schooled today because A) it is going to make you go all WTF?! on this business. And B) Emily — who I have befriended via blogging and Twitter (OMGthisiswhyIlovebloggingandtwitter!) — is super beyond great.
As evidenced by this photo:
Which gives away that she is indeed Emily of Rosie Says fame and also, Emily notes, serves as a fantastic litmus test when online dating because it tends to weed out all the guys who assume she is dressed like a car mechanic for no apparent reason. Except for this one genius who somehow slipped through the cracks.
I’m online dating (pause for commiserative laughter) and last week, I received a lovely note from a potential suitor. He addressed things we had in common, complimented various portions of my profile, and concluded with this:
Anyways, you do not strike me as someone who is curvy…would be nice to chat soon.
Wait…what? You were doing so well! Let me get this straight, based on a written profile, I do not “strike” this guy as “someone who is curvy.” Hmm… let’s investigate:
One possibility is that mystery gentleman X meant that my profile pictures do not convey “curviness.” I carefully selected pictures that are current and accurate and include more than my face… so that’s probably not it. Plus, he could have said, “your pictures don’t make you look curvy” and didn’t.
Another possibility is that we disagree on the definition of “curvy.” When I hit the dreaded “Body Type” box on the profile form, I took a deep breath and reviewed my options. According to OkCupid, these are:
Rather Not Say
A little extra
I’m 5’6″. I weigh 170-175lbs (Thanks Virginia for encouraging sharing!) I wear a size 12 (give or take). I run 5Ks. I can do push-ups. I practice yoga three times a week. About 60 percent of the time, I don’t need the wall for my headstands. I narrowed the list to “types” I think that a reasonable person would find accurate: Overweight, Average, Fit, Athletic, A little extra, Curvy, Full Figured. Depending on your criteria, to a certain extent they are all true.
“Curvy” seemed like the best bet: both accurate and representative of my most body positive moments. It’s possible that mystery gentleman X disagreed with my selection, and thinks that I have miscategorized myself.
Or, and this is the possibility that freaks me out the most, my admirer finds some sort of disconnect between appealing parts of my profile and the moniker “curvy.” In other words, “someone who is curvy” is categorically not someone he would be want to pursue. He sees things he likes, therefore I must be lying about my body type. What is it about my profile that he found impossible to reconcile with “curvy?” Is it my intelligence or (admittedly cheesy) wit? Is it because he found my face pretty? Is it because I say that I exercise? Is it because I am smiling, looking happy and confident in my pictures?
Bottom line: My interest in him is long since out the window, but dude-face is going to have to overcome his issue with labels. Whatever it was that attracted him to my profile, I guarantee that there are other women who have it and call themselves curvy. Is it that hard to believe?
Emily is a New Englander in love with Chicago, where she works at a tech start-up. She blogs about gender, sex, politics, media and body image every day at Rosie Says. She’s also a weekly contributor in the Sex and Relationships section of The Good Men Project. Follow her @rosiesaysblog!