[Fun With Press Releases] Maybe Just Go The F*** To Sleep, Instead?

This has to be one of the most random press releases I’ve received maybe ever, and believe me, there are candidates for the “most random” award on a daily, if not hourly, basis.

Dear Virginia,

Turn in that late night bowl of ice cream for some late night home shopping. If you need to keep yourself busy when you’re relaxing on your couch, XXXXXX now offers a great alternative to packing on the pounds.

XXXXXX.com, a flash sales website that offers a curated selection of home and lifestyle products from coveted brands and emerging designers at up to 70% off retail, will now be offering its members new exclusive night time sales series.

Beginning on September 20, XXXXXX’s night time series promises the same thrill at a new time.  The series will feature cohesive themes to inspire your next redecorating, hosting or holiday occasion.

Curb Appeal, the first night time event, features bench seating, patio furniture and outdoor lighting.

I would be happy to send over additional information, images, or put you in touch with Style Editor at XXXXXX.

So first of all: Obviously, I’m eating ice cream on my couch late at night. Every night. That’s just a given. Moving right along. Why on earth didn’t I think of shopping for weight loss sooner? More to the point, where has the diet industry been on this one? Persuading women to shop more and think they’ll lose weight in the process?

Also, it’s so smart because as Emily over on XO Jane has explained and I’ve also discussed here and here, shopping can fit right in to the ole diet-binge-purge cycle.

At first I was being snarky, but now I think this publicist may be an evil genius.

PS. I included the photos (but not the store’s name, because the purpose of Fun With Press Releases is hardly free advertising!) because that lamp in the middle is tres adorable. So there is that.

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4 Comments

Filed under Fun with Press Releases

4 responses to “[Fun With Press Releases] Maybe Just Go The F*** To Sleep, Instead?

  1. They forgot to mention the additional weight loss benefit you’ll get when you spend so much money shopping that you don’t have enough left over to buy food.

    ~Ragen

    • Ha! Love it.

      I also love that whole sentence “If you need to keep yourself busy when you’re relaxing on you’re couch…” Well no. I’m RELAXING. So I’m busy doing that. Go away, weird flash sales website.

  2. More to the point, where has the diet industry been on this one? Persuading women to shop more and think they’ll lose weight in the process?

    You know, it might actually be more honest and transparent of them. “Please give us your money and do these things that are unlikely to lead to long-term, sustained weight loss, mmmkay?”

  3. Jennie

    Ugh. I had a severe shopping problem for a long time, and it ended in us going on an austerity budget for five years until we paid off all the credit cards. The idea that (1), you are lame for sitting on the couch late at night eating frozen dairy products and (2), that you can fix that total lameness by buying outdoor items from your home seriously offends me. Screw off, guys.

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