Tag Archives: Modern Family

[Never Say Diet] Sofia Vergara is Just Like Us (I Think)

iVillage Never Say Diet Sofia Vergara Virginia Sole-Smith

Okay, to be honest, this (iVillage-not-Virginia-generated) headline is overstating things a bit: You do not need to watch Sofia Vergara’s new commercial.

If you watch any television at all, chances are, it will stumble across your field of vision along with 54 billion ads for that new sitcom Whitney, which I’m now not watching just because they seem to want it too much. To say nothing of the Old Navy-rips-off-Tiffany commercial that I am really beside myself about.

So anyway, commercials are generally terrible (oh! I have even more on this theme tomorrow!) and you should DVR everything and do your best never to watch any of them.

But if this particular Kmart commercial happens to zoom by as you are fast forwarding, you might want to slow down and catch, like, ten seconds of it. Because it’s sort of weird and yet also strangely compelling and I think it makes me like Sofia Vergara even more than I did already.

And you can get more of my thoughts about that over on Never Say Diet, right now.

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[Never Say Diet] Julie Bowen Doesn’t Need Your Sandwich Suggestions

iVillage Never Say Diet Julie Bowen Doesn't Need a Sandwich Virginia Sole-Smith

She is perfectly capable of ordering her own lunch, thankyouverymuch.

More to the point, this whole hating on skinny actresses thing has really got to stop. Or at least, just call it what it is: Good, old-fashioned, body snarking, just like when the kids on the playground called you fatty. (If they did that. In which case, I’m really sorry because it must have sucked. Just like… see where I’m going with this?)

As I explain in today’s Never Say Diet post, I am far from innocent in this, but I am working hard to reform. I have suggested sandwiches to skinny people myself many a time when I was feeling bad about my own body and/or particularly confused about all the many tangled messages we get about health, weight and beauty.

So that you sandwich-pushers out there don’t get too testy with me, I did a search for “sandwich” on this here blog to see what I needed to fess up about. There seem to be two.

April 1, 2010: I suggested that Lady Gaga eat a sandwich. Now, this was in response to her pronouncing that “pop stars should not eat,” and nobody could tell if she was being ironic… so maybe nobody could tell if I was being ironic either? But still. Very sorry.

November 18, 2009: I was very excited about that song “Barbie Eat a Sandwich” by Care Bears on Fire. Well… I still like that song. And the video where they chase a Barbie doll around with giant sandwiches. Maybe it’s because the sandwich is metaphorical, since Barbie is, after all, just a plastic icon for a giant corporation responsible for pinkwashing generations of little girls? And it’s okay to be snarky about corporations even though they are people too?

Certainly, if someone makes a video chasing Julie Bowen around with giant sandwiches, I am going to be pissed. Whatever is going on with her weight (which I cannot tell by looking at her and have not been informed about by anyone who has any reason to know), she’s a terrific actress, with rock solid comedic timing, making one of the best shows on television even funnier — and that’s why she won the damn Emmy.

And if she were a man, that’s all anyone would be talking about.

 

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